Man, life has been wild lately.  There’s so much that I’ve wanted to write about, and when I sit down to write about it, I realize dedicating an entire post to it is a little silly.  So to catch you up on the few weeks I’ve been out, here’s a spicy little grab bag for you.

 

I.  I’m getting a dog!!!  I couldn’t be more excited.  I decided a long time ago that kids aren’t in the cards for me.  For many, many reasons I don’t want to bore you with.  But, a dog?  Yeah, I can get into that Idea.  So, the lady and I found someone having a litter of miniature dachshunds, and we are expecting to have a little long haired wiener destroying the house come July/August.  We’re hoping for a little dude.  He will be named Walter, and will be brought with me to work most days.  Because, well, every bike shop needs a shop dog, and we’ve been sans for quite some time.  The cat will be pissed.  I am sure of it.  However, our cat (Murder) is an 18 pound Maine Coon.  The soon to be had sausage dog will maybe weigh in at 11/12 lbs full grown.  The bout between these two is surely going to be amusing.  I can’t wait!

 

II.  Shortly before my 30th birthday (yeah, that happened.  Still can’t believe it), I had made the conscious decision to take some time off from drinking (starting the day after my birthday mind you).  Initially I was going to do two weeks, but the lady was like “you, should do a month”.  So I figured if you were going to do the damn thing, you might as well do it.  So I decided on a month.  Not necessarily because I thought I needed to.   Mostly, I just wanted to start my thirties on a different note.  I wanted to have as clear of a mind as possible while taking on this odd new chapter of my life.  

 

This task I had laid before myself was pretty nerve racking in the beginning.  More than anything I wasn’t sure what to expect.  Would I feel different, would I completely change as a person, would I alienate my friends, would I just sit at home and become useless?  Almost unbelievably, nothing really happened.  It was kind of a non eventful experiment.  I did the same things, hung out with the same people, my friends were like “oh, cool.  I should do that”.  I went out and about and just had a lemonade in my hand instead.  I should mention that I did become somewhat of a lemonade snob, that subject may require a separate article next week.  I slept the same and woke up feeling the same.  Not that a lot of how I physically felt would have changed I guess.  I'm kind of the crotchety old man in my drinking habits anyhow.  I have a beer or two after work really for the sake of it all, and thats usually how far it goes.

 

What I did realize through this whole thing, two things.   1. My morning beverages have more of an effect on me than my evening beverages do.  I went 3 days camping at the beginning of my dry month without coffee and almost burned the forrest down.  A month without coffee would be the real experiment in all this, though I’m not sure I want to subject the world to that just quite yet.  2.  The benefactor in all of this was actually my wallet.  I saved a lot of money that month and to reward myself I used it to fund parts III. and IV.

 

III.  I bought a new gun!  'Yeah, yeah, you’re from the midwest, you’re a gun owning redneck, we all knew that.’  Well, since I live in California, this is actually a big and meaningful feat.  Trust me, they don’t make it easy.  The former statement may be true, however, the hoops involved in getting my guns lawfully into California was more that I wanted to bear.  So, I sold the ones I had in North Dakota and decided to start fresh.  The issue, however, is that I wasn’t sure what I wanted to get.  I’m vegan, so naturally, I won’t be hunting.  Owning a handgun is a given, but, you can’t just own one gun.  Anyone who’s gotten “the sickness” can attest to this.  That being said, I decided that the only proper choice in firearm would most certainly be the AR15, or in my case, the California legal FAR15.  The most offensive gun one can own.  Cause I figure, if you’re gonna do the damn thing, you might as well do it. 

 

IV.  It’s playoff hockey season!  And the Blackhawks are going to the Stanley Cup Finals!!!  But, lets backup a tad.  It was actually Saturday May 23rd.  I was at work, not really working because the Blackhawks game was on and was certainly preoccupied with that.  My co-worker doesn’t really know much about hockey and was noticing my excitement as the Blackhawks won the game.  And said something to the effect of, ‘when’s the next game you could go to, I’d love to go to a hockey game, I’ve never been.’  To which I replied ‘ah, its the playoffs now, there’s no way to really get to a game at this point, they’re too far away and pretty expensive.’  ‘How expensive’ he asks.  It is at this point I realize that there is a game on Monday, in Anaheim.  Wait, I’m off Monday/Tuesday, so is my lady.  Hrmm…  ‘Well, lets see how spendy they actually are.’  'Wait, there's tickets left!?!'  $142 per ticket.  Ah, man.  I can totally swing this.  A quick text message to my girlfriend and 7 minutes later and my debit card was on fire in my pocket.  I had just purchased tickets to my first NHL playoff game ever!  Having not been able to see the Hawks at all this year due to work scheduling this was going to be amazing!  So, Sunday night rolls around, and we load the car and start the drive to LA.  Where we were planning to stay with a friend.  After breakfast in the morning we headed the rest of the way to Anaheim.  Upon arriving we quickly realized that we were pilgrims in an unholy land.  Playoff tensions were high and we were walking around in the wrong colour hockey sweaters.  But wait, there’s some red sweaters over there, lets stand near them, haha!

 

The game starts and we find our seats with my first beer in a month in hand.  Damn, the Ducks score first.  A few mins later; damn, they score again.  This is not going as planned.  Another goal, DAMN DAMN!!!  This is not how this was suppose to go!!!  The second period rolls around and all I can hope for is that something positive happens.  It did.  It came in the form of a Blackhawks goal early in the period…  while I was in line at the concessions stand.  Me and the 5 other Hawks fans in line all high fived and started to feel better about the situation.  A very southern California looking girl wearing a Ducks jersey chimes in with “Why are you guys so excited, its only one goal.  They game is already over for you.”  Exchanging looks of disbelief with each other, I decided to retort for us few Hawks fans.  “My dear.  You should celebrate every goal, there’s a lot of hockey to be played.  Chicago will win this series, because we’re from a real hockey town and we want it more.”  Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to eat my own words.  Another goal in the second, and we got within one!

 

The third starts and I can barely contain my excitement, yelling at every loose puck and anything that resembled a scoring chance.  This was all for not as the Ducks knocked in an insurance goal to go up 4-2.  My heart sank.  That was until Jonathan Toews popped two in, in the last few minutes of the game to send this bitch to overtime.  I couldn’t believe it.  Every Hawks fan in the joint was on their feet and it was at this moment I saw just how many red sweaters there were at the Honda Center.  There was a sea of red that didn't stop standing and cheering until 45 seconds into the first overtime.  Matt Beleskey put a halt to the good times with a wide open net to seal the fate of game 5.  I was a broken man...
 

V.  After this horrid defeat.  We decided that the only reasonable thing to do, would be hit Disney Land.  I mean, it was across the street from our hotel.  That and I had never been to Disney Land, it had to be done.  I gotta say, I had a blast.  We were only able to go for about 4/5 hrs, so it wasn't optimal.  But, it was last minute and I was glad we had the opportunity.  I will be back down to Anaheim in October and we've already booked our hotel!  Stoked!
 

Till next week, kids.