The Results:
The Debate Questions
1. What is your biggest weakness?
2. Libertarian tech billionaire Peter Thiel says he always asks potential hires, “What is one thing you believe to be true that most do not?” How would you respond?
3. The console wars have raged for decades now, what side do you stand on?
4. And the best console ever is?
5. On the subject of war, who or what is the greatest national security threat to the United States?
Lightning round! Keep it to 1 sentence!
6. Women's rights
7. minority rights
8. gun rights
9. religious freedom
10. abortion
11. economy
12. affordable education
13. President Barack Obama is often criticized for playing too much golf. What is appropriate amount of leisure time for an American president?
14. What would you do to change or fix the National Hockey League?
15. Who is your favorite hockey team and why?
16. Which one of your real life presidential opponents would you remotely consider actually voting for?
The Candidates
Derek "Dickie" Barsgard
R - Minnesota
Opening Statement: My fellow PINMers, I come to you tonight seeking election to be your next President. I know that I have different views than many constituents, but doesn’t that mean you should pay extra attention to me? If you truly want to learn and become a better person, don’t you have to understand both sides of the issue? I promise you, the juice will be worth the squeeze.
1. I am took quick to judge people. It is very easy to do and it takes no intellect to do so. However, the past few years after these thoughts have entered my mind, I have been able to stop, take a step back, and think about it. Who am I to judge another human? This is not right and I am ashamed of it. But I am not ashamed to say that I am working to correct this issue and this isn’t something that can be fixed over night. The tortoise always wins the race.
2. In the world I would say I’m in the majority with this one. But for the sake of this site, I’m guessing this will be a minority response. I believe in God. I am not afraid to admit that. This is my faith and no one can take that away from me. Being a man of integrity is being able to stand up for what you believe in. Whether you believe the same things as me or not, I do not care. This doesn’t make me any better or any worse than you. I respect others opinions and beliefs as long as they can make a valid argument as to why they have them.
3. I have always been a fan of the old classic games. Regular Nintendo and Super Nintendo I think will always be appealing to everyone.
4. I have to say the Playstation 1. This was the first game console I had as a child. I always got to play SNES, Sega, and what have you at my cousins’ house down the street, but I never had my own. I was fortunate enough to receive a PS1 for Christmas one year and I will never forget how happy that made me. I made this choice because of what it has meant to me, not because it has all of the new features of todays consoles.
5. I think ISIS is our greatest national security threat. A new report claims they have trained soldiers in up to 15 states. What is there to keep what happened in Paris from happening here? This is an issue we need to address. We have people calling for American blood and this isn’t something we can ignore. I am not for going to war, by any means. I don’t know what the proper solution or response should be and I don’t think many people do, besides the ones that want to start beating the war drums.
6. Women are an integral part of, well, everything and we need to give them the respect they deserve.
7. The Declaration of Independence says “all me are created equal…” it is one thing to say it, but now we need to act as such.
8. I believe in the right to be able to use necessary force to protect my wife, my house, and myself.
9. I am a Christian, but that doesn’t give me the right to discriminate against others because they believe in a different God or don’t believe in a God at all.
10. Abortion is not even a question, for my wife and I, but who am I to tell you what you can and cannot do, especially when it is something that has no direct effect on me.
11. To fix the economy, we need to get more Americans working, more people paying taxes will fix the economy, not some people paying more in taxes.
12. Nothing can be free, the problem we have is the out of control spending by Universities that are passed on to students through a raise in tuition and fees.
13. It is very easy to criticize someone when things aren’t going the way you want them to. Being the president of the United States is one of the most stressful jobs in the world. I cannot even imagine being held accountable for the lives of so many people. Just take a look at how presidents have aged during the presidencies, it seems as if they have aged two or three times as fast. Compare how Obama looks now to how he looked a few years ago when he first ran for president. Everyone needs a vacation from his or her job and sometimes we tend to forget that.
14. One thing that really bugs me is the superimposed advertisements that are on the glass now. They started out being just behind the net, now they are all over the glass. I get they want to create more ad revenue but I think this looks extremely tacky. Another thing I don’t like is the coach’s challenge. I really like the reviews about the goals that were initiated from the officials. But allowing coach’s to challenge plays has gone too far.
15. I am a fan of the Los Angeles Kings. I became a Kings fan in 2010. My friend and I would watch playoff hockey whenever we were together. Just so happens that those nights were when the Kings/Canucks game was on. A Kings team that hadn’t been to the playoffs in years took the then mighty Canucks to 6 games. After this exposure, or course, kicked off the chain of playing with the Kings on NHL every chance I got. I became enthused with the team and followed them as closely as any other sports team that I am a fan of.
16. The candidate I am going to vote for is Marco Rubio. He aligns most with my stances on issues. However, I don’t thing he will get the GOP nomination because “The Donald” seems to be running away with things, oddly enough.
Closing statement: What you will get with me, as president, is a man of integrity, a man of values. I stand for what I believe in but I won’t shove it in your face and make you conform. I respect the views and opinions of others and am always willing to listen to an opposing view. After all, the best way to learn is to just shut up and listen. Remember, Elect Dickie!
Michael Vellucci
R - New Jersey
Opening statement: None.
1. All jobs I've gotten, I was never asked this during the interview. My biggest weakness is that I'm probably too selfish.
2. Santa Claus
3. I mean, I'll always have a soft spot for Nintendo (and their games aren't found on other systems), but I have no preference.
4. N64 (If I was a little older I probably would said SNES)
5. I think we know that answer
6. They're treated well enough. They just like to complain.
7. See above. This notion that only whites are racist is ridiculous.
8. I'm mixed with this. I think you should be able to have a gun, but go through a rigorous process to obtain one (psychological test, background check, IQ test, etc.) Anyone who has ever been arrested should not be allowed to have one. Also, I'm for stop and frisk since that helps keep illegal weapons off the streets. For the record, I have no desire to ever own a gun.
9. Practice what you want as long as it doesn't break any laws
10. Mixed on this. I have no problem with it for rape, incest, or if the mother's life is in danger. Otherwise, I'm not super pro choice, however, it should probably remain the woman's choice. Personally, I wouldn't want my significant other to get an abortion if we didn't want the kid, but an option should probably still be available.
11. Lower corporate taxes so places will want to be here instead of going to other countries. Reagonomics.
12. People who don't have the money should go to community colleges and then transfer (and commute) to state schools while working part time. All of that can be done with little to no debt. Perhaps if you graduate from an accredited CC with a certain GPA (say a 3.5) perhaps you should be eligible for free tuition (or something) to a state school. If you show you can learn and do the work, then yeah, help people out, but I don't know if a giant overhaul is the solution.
13. I don't know, a couple hours a day?
14. More fighting, un-grandfather visors, get rid of trapezoid, no shoot-outs/bring back ties, get rid of delay of game, bring back the red line.
15. Despite everything that's happened the past few years, the Devils are still my favorite team. I guess because I grew up with them and got to watch a few cup wins and they're my home state team.
16. Not sure! I guess Jeb Bush.
Closing statement: None.
Steve Syrup
R - North Dakota
Opening statement: None.
1. My biggest weakness, I've never quite realized the value of money until lately and have spent it like it grew on a tree. The simple remedy is I now save a little from every check.
2. That's easy I believe in Bigfoot or Sasquatch or whatever you wish to call him. There is plenty of proof and for reason of space and time we shall not address them in full here, however fire away at me in messenger!
3. Xbox , is there seriously even a contender?
4. As much as I love Microsoft and Xbox, to many fond memories of the Super Nintendo
5. The greatest threat to the U.S. is the U.S. We are at the present tearing the country apart with political correctness and party lines rather then coming together for the simple good of the nation. A house divided against itself can not stand.
6. A. Women's Rights
Everyone is equal
6. B. Same as the first treat everyone as you wish to be treated and we wouldn't have the problems we do. All lives matter.
6. C. You have every right to own a gun. Guns don't kill people do.
6. D. Worship any god you like, feel free to do it anywhere. But respect others freedom to worship differently or not at all. Don't use religion as a stepping stone to take away others freedoms.
6. E. Pro Choice
6. F. Quit handing out so much to other countries.
6. G. Don't believe in it, everything should be earned not simply doled out like a welfare state.
13. He could play as much golf as he wants, if he we're getting the job done, but he is not.
14. No more shootouts , no more 3 on 3 OT, just overtime. If it's still tied after OT it's a point, if not you lose and it's a loss. No more points for losing!
15. Florida Panthers, who doesn't like the underdog? One day they will be the Seahawks of the NHL.
16. Donald Trump.
Closing statement: None.
Nicholas Schlitt
Ind. - Michigan
Opening statement;
Greeting my fellow Americans, I am Nicholas. I'd first like to thankPretendItsNotMe.com for hosting this event. You have been a gracious host. Folks, I am a simple man from humble origins. If there is just one clear message I hope to get across tonight it is this; I am a solutions oriented individual. "Real. Change. I promise." is not just a campaign, its a damn threat. I promise you I will change this already great nation for the better. And I hope to bridge the childish gaps in bickering Washington while doing that. And I will do that with an eye-opening reminder to everybody in Washington who they are working for. All of you. Not giant telecommunication companies and the like. You. And I promise this. Thank you.
1. This one time, I got drunk. For like 14 years straight. But now I don't.
2. Theodore Kaczynski, while flawed in his approach of harming others, had some good ideas worth discussing openly in this day and age. The pervasiveness of technological progress and our society's evolution has caused great harm to both nature and man's ability to be autonomous within it. Hot topics like global warming, endangered species, privacy and surveillance issues, drug wars, health care, and more can all be found in the tunnels of this discussion if we ever choose to dig in to it.
3. While I understand this topic to strike at the very fundamental cores of many American citizens. And it might seem like deflecting politics to say this but... I stand with all sides. Each device brings its merits and value to the entry level world of entertainment. It's ultimately on the end user and his or her friends and family to make use of that approachable simplistic entertainment. I'm personally busy having the most fun and entertainment you can possibly get over on a PC like a grown ass man. And I hope one day to be able to share that experience with the entire nation.
4. The Nintendo Entertainment System.
5. Pandering. It isn't terrorism this or China that. No outside force. It is pandering. That is the greatest threat to this nation. Much like the console wars we discussed, it's easiest to just pretend there is a "team A" and "team B" to everything, when we all know the Wii is plenty fun too. The media and politics would like you to believe that anything boils down to a simple choice of A or B. Then when they got that belief instilled they pander to one side or the other to further cement the belief and create division in this great country of unity. Its either ban all guns or make more guns. Its the police are wrong or minorities are wrong. Its Republican or its Democrat. But in reality there is always middle ground, or better yet, higher ground to every issue. But instead we draw a line in the mud and slop around in it and pander people over to each side. And then escalate it and get them to start throwing rocks at each other. Or worse. America is better than that damnit!
6-10. My stand is; Rock n' roll.
11. Legalize everything and reduce "red tape".
12. A more educated populous is a better populous. We should work towards that and logic would dictate that that means cheaper higher education. So lets figure that out.
13. Every president, as far as I know, has been a human being. An overworked human being is no good and rarely healthy mentally or physically. And golf is a healthier hobby than most. I would never question his or any other presidents work ethic based on a couple rounds of golf. But it is also a job that demands sacrifice. End of the day though, I'd be willing to pause my game of Tetris to get right back to work if I were president and I'm sure Obama would jump his golf cart off a bunker lip and right onto Air Force One to get right back to work too. Leisure time is important for all people, even the president. And I think he does so within reason. FORE!
14. First of all "fix" is something mainstream sports media invented because they don't "get" hockey. It is a grand sport that doesn't need "fixing". But much like America, though great, there is room for improvement. I would implore the players to seek a more robust, active, and powerful NHLPA. Everything from post-career issues to on-ice safety would improve if they had a players association with any leveraging power. They've lost strike and lockout after lockout. Anything the NHL says goes. Punishments are not appealed. Power drunk referees dictate the pace of the games without repercussions of any sort. And all the while player safety has arguably not improved. The players themselves deserve to have more say in dictating the rules they want and they way they're enforced. And the current NHLPA can't do anything remotely close to helping them get that. But a new stronger PA could improve anything anybody finds wrong with the sport all with the people who deserve the biggest say making the decisions. A strong NHLPA means a game the players prefer. If that means no shootout, trapezoids, delay of game, visors, or instigators.. Or vice versa, then so be it! Let it be their game.
15. The Los Angeles Kings hockey club. Because I grew up in Southern California and Zigmund Palffy made me do it. Long live Sean Avery!!!
16. I like that Bernie Sanders has no "corporate" backers and I like that Rand Paul is the only person who even remotely truly understands the highly touted "small government". At first glance they seem a world apart but a ticket with the two of them together would be the only reason I would go to the polls for any of them. Democracy is about overcoming differences and working together to figure out what is best for the people. We don't have any of that. Nobody in Washington works in harmony and when they do its for something like CISA which their corporate backers want but the people don't. The people aren't even an after thought. Sanders and Paul together under the campaign flag of unity would be awesome. Bridge that canyon of an aisle right in the White House. Sprinkle on that Harvard dudes' election and election finance reform ideas on top of it and you're really cookin' with some flavor! But yeah, I've never voted and don't plan to change that any time soon.
Closing statements;
Perhaps starting this debate talking about alcohol and idolizing the Unabomber and ending saying I have never voted wasn't the most sound way to portray my political platform for the presidency. But I do think my values and views ultimately came through my answers from start to finish. I'm clearly a man not afraid to say it like it is but I'm also a man that's willing to admit he's bald. So I just shave my head. No comb over here. I'm a simple man of the people. A simple man with simple plans and modest dreams. I believe America was, is, and shall continue to be the greatest place of growth, compassion, and diversity. The World is not ending, this great nation is not doomed, but I'm a solution oriented individual that thinks anything can be improved. A vote for Nicholas in 2016 is a vote for that change we've been talking about for nearly a decade. I promise. Thank you. SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!
Taylor Hruby
D-North Dakota
Opening statement:
Greetings, friends. Welcome to Pretend It's Not Me. I'm not sure if you know this or not, but I started this site. You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me. But I'm not looking for credit, just stating some facts. Some other facts: I am the best presidential candidate; I have the most presidential hair; I am the only candidate with a child, so I know the struggle of being a family man; I have a gamerscore of over 100,000 on Xbox Live and I am a level 11 on PSN, whatever that means. I may like a really good hockey team, but, rest assured, I like a really bad baseball team and a really, really bad football team. I am a man of the people. I know that struggle. I feel your pain.
1. My temper. I am not a very friendly person if you make me mad. I'm a bit like the Incredible Hulk. Vote for me if you like the Avengers!
2. That alcohol is the worst thing on this planet and it's ruining everyone. Bring back prohibition.
3. Microsoft. I play my PS4 a lot though, so I have plenty of experience with both. I like the One's interface way more, although the lack of native 1080 is ridiculous. But the 360 was light years better than the PS3, so I'll stick with Microsoft.
4. The NES has games that will always mean the most to me (Tecmo Bowl, Mike Tyson's Punch Out!, NHL 94, etc) but the Xbox 360 is the greatest console of all time.
5. Ourselves. I don't particularly care for the grand ol' US of A getting involved in every little quibble. I will pull us out of everything and only protect our great nation.
6. They're better people than men, except for when they aren't.
7. If minorities don't have the same rights as the majority, our system is a disgrace.
8. You don't need a gun, no one wants to hurt you.
9. You don't need a God, be a better human on this plane of existence.
10. A women's decision.
11. More money for people who read their friends' blog!
12. College expense is a joke and needs to be rectified immediately.
13. A man can never play too much golf. The more golf, the better. This country deserves more leisure time anyway and the 40 hour work week will be destroyed when I am elected.
14. Let the players police themselves. Lose 4 southern teams and move 2 different southern teams to Canada. Stop having outdoor games.
15. The Chicago Blackhawks. I was absolutely in love with NHL 94 as a child and they were the best team. Being the young, front runner that I was, I latched on. Never looked back.
16. Bernie Sanders.
Closing statement:
I think my answers speak for themselves. The lightning round could have used some elaborating, but the rules said to keep it to a sentence. Also, that prohibition thing? Don't worry about that. I would never permanently ban alcohol because I know how much it means to you. I love you and I only want what is best for you. VOTE HRUBY!