I am going to write a book.  You know, like a kids picture book.  Where there’s pictures and a small paragraph at the bottom describing what happening in the picture.  Except, this will be an adult version of that.  Not like an “adult”, came out of the back room with the hanging door bead curtains, kind of book.  But, you know.  An entertaining coffee table book of sorts that can be a conversation piece.  

 

I have been unknowingly collecting material for this book for quite some time now.  Across the street from my work, there is this gas station.  And it has a pay at the counter, then drive your car through the car wash, services.  Besides all the homeless SOMA folks that take showers and wash their clothes with the radiator filling pump, a few people actually wash their cars there.  Like most things in San Francisco, the car wash is tightly packed into one end of the gas station and is nothing short of a miracle in physics to get your car negotiated into the entrance of this thing.  And it’s pretty needlessly done at that.  They appear to have had plenty of room to make a more accessible entrance.  Either the city shot down a more convenient plan or the designer was an ignoramus… maybe just a dick.  As miserable and ill-fated as the attempt at constructing an entrance to this place is, nothing is more amazing than the exit to this building.  Immediately after exiting the wash, and I mean right-fucking-immediately after exiting, you must perform a zero room for error right turn down this ramp into the parking lot.  To then either make another redonkulous left hander back on to the street, drive directly into a gas pump, or make a right into a row of parked cars.  Well, done guys.  It wasn’t for lack of trying, either.  Because, the engineering feat to build such a labyrinth must have been a hell of an undertaking in and of itself.

 

As for what this has to do with my book.  Well, let me tell you.  People, amazingly enough, seem to be able to enter this place just fine and dandy.  They’ve been through enough drive-thru’s in their day to have this one in a to go bag.  But, the exit.  Ohh, man!  I’d say at least, one in five cars completely miss the epic right hander and drive right off the end of this sucker.  Besides the loud as fuck yellow paint on the ramp, the trees, I’ll say it again, THE TREES lining the ramp, that should indicate that driving straight might not end up too successful.  Oh, and the sign that says “Hey, dumb dumb.  Make a right hand turn.”  Despite all of this, basic motor skills be damned, they just can’t seem to make this right hand turn happen.  Along comes me, at their time of misfortune, with my phone camera.  Capturing this magical event, time and time again.  

 

I now present you with a preview of what this book will be all about.  The following are my favorite snaps…  So far. 

 

Enjoy.