I have been very busy these last few days with baby things and yard things and grown up things and I haven't had time to work on the few things I have half done for this week, so I'm dusting off the old grab bag. If you are unaware, the grab bag is where I talk about some stuff that I like, but wouldn't fit into a full article or just wouldn't work or whatever. So I smash some quick reads together. I hope you don't mind. Text 218-779-8556 for refunds for this article.

 

First and foremost, I know how much you all love hockey, so let's start there. The Rangers are about to force Game 7 and the Hawks need a win to force Game 7 in their series as well. I'm not entirely sure my heart can even deal with anymore hockey, to be honest, so I've started to come to terms with the season being over. Last year, the Hawks lost in heartbreaking fashion in OT of Game 7 of the Western Conference Final. If they lose Game 6, at least that can't happen again, right? Also, last year, they were coming off the Cup, so it wasn't really THAT devastating. It sure sucked, but repeating in the NHL is impossible. Ask the Kings about repeating this year. So that really softened the blow. No, the real problem is the Hawks are going to be dismantled and sold for parts after these playoffs. So this was kind of the last hurrah, at least for a little while. It's a sad day, but it ain't over yet. Game 6 is tonight. If you care about me at all, you'll tune in and scream at your TV until you're coughing up blood. Also, you should wear a lucky shirt or rub a Budda belly or whatever. Help me out, eh? 

 

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I've been reading a book called “Straw Dogs” by John Gray and it is incredible. You might not like it, but I find it remarkable. Essentially, if I may attempt to put it in my own words, the book is about how we're just animals and we're all fucked. We're no better than any other organism out there, we just have the capacity to say we are out loud.

 

It's about how, as humans, we continually strive for hope and how Christianity is just the latest “hope” to fall out of favor with (some) people. Eventually we will all move on from our “hope”, but humans will always have something to fill that void because we “need” it. It's about how Humanism is not different from Christianity, which I really enjoy because most “humanists” claim humanism as an alternative to Christianity or even to spite Christianity. But in the book Gray talks about how humanism and even science are just providing us with the same false hope as Christianity. In humanism, we are the saviors. But there is no saving to be had. We're all just here until we're not. That's it.

 

Sounds real fun, doesn't it?! But see, I love this kind of stuff. I really enjoy reading things like this. They help sum up my worldview in ways that I am not nearly eloquent enough to accomplish. More importantly, I don't read something like that an see it as negative. I see it as confirmation that my time here is brief and fading. I should enjoy it while I can because soon I will not be able to. Instead of that making me sad, I find it empowering. “This too shall pass” seems to be a pretty common saying / facebook wall post / tattoo with our generation and this, to me, is the ultimate form of “this too shall pass”.

 

Plus, even if you think it's all bullshit, I still enjoy reading bullshit from time to time. Conspiracies are one of my favorite things in the world, even the most ludicrous. I have spent hours pouring over documents, youtube videos, and blogs about the Boston Marathon Bombing, Sandy Hook, 9/11, etc. These events all occurred, obviously, but the things that people attach to these events are truly interesting, to me at least. If you want to waddle through some deep, stupid, but ultimately fascinating stuff, head over to godlikeproductions.com. One of my favorite websites, but one of the dumbest places on the entire internet.

 

I'm not here to get into all that though. I just want to talk about a quote from Straw Dogs, which is also a quote. This quote sums up exactly how I feel, but not exactly because I can't claim this quote too much. It's way too heavy for me. If this dude had gone through like something minor like bad traffic and wrote this quote, I'd say it fit me perfectly, but this guy has seen things you and I can't even begin to imagine.

 

It's from a man named Varlam Shalamov. He was arrested in 1937 and sentenced to 5 years in Kolyma, Siberia labor camps. Estimates say 3 million people died in these camps, but it's 'probably more'. Well, my dude ended up spending 17 years there. He wrote about his time stuck in that hell, including this bright little gem: “There is much a man should not know, should not see, and if he does see it, it is better for him to die”. On his way back to Moscow, he wrote one of the most incredible things I've ever read:
 

“It was as if I had just awakened from a dream that had lasted for years. And suddenly I was afraid and felt a cold sweat from on my body. I was frightened by the terrible strength of man, his desire and ability to forget. I realized I was ready to forget everything, to cross out twenty years of my life. And when I understood this, I conquered myself, I knew I would not permit my memory to forget everything that I had seen. And I regained my calm and fell asleep”

 

Again, I am in NO WAY comparing myself to this man and his ordeal. I never would, but in my slight, insignificant, totally not as severe way, I felt very strong feelings the first time I read it. Strong enough to ask you to read it, I suppose. It really spoke to me, particularly the parts of being scared at how easy we can 'forget everything'. This is something I struggle with a lot. What have I blocked out? What have I repressed? Why can't I remember chunks of time in my life? Is that just how it goes or is there a reason I'm avoiding certain things? I find all of this fascinating. He even uses trying to fall (back) asleep to illustrate his struggle and that's when I am at my most vulnerable. It just really hit home for me albeit in a much less life ruining way, of course. I'm not sure I can say that enough.

 

Since this is the real world and happy endings are impossible, I feel like I should tell you the rest of his story. Shalamov was released in 1951, but couldn't leave. In 1956 he finally got to return to Moscow, but when he got home, he found his wife had left him and his daughter didn't want anything to do with him. He dictated some poems, to his one friend that remained, at 75 years of age and the poems were published abroad. Apparently this was frowned upon or the poems were deemed a bit crazy. They took him out of his old folks home, kicking and screaming the whole way out, and they put him in a psychiatric hospital. He died in 1982, 3 days later, in a fucking padded room with bars on the windows. Ain't life grand?

 

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I've also been reading some real good comics lately. I bought the first 4 trades (trade paperbacks or “trades” are collections of issues of comics. Generally, there are 4 to 5 comics in one trade) of a series called “Criminal” and it is delightful. It's by the team of Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips. I found out about them through their newest series called “The Fade Out”. It is also great. “Criminal”, through 2 trades at least, is just about a “job” (in the criminal sense, of course) and the people who pull them off. I am a very large fan of organized crime, so it's right up my alley. It doesn't pull any punches and it is wonderfully written. “The Fade Out” is about the film industry, and all it's shady dealings, back in the 30's. You should check out both of these series if you have the chance.

 

I've also really enjoyed the last few issues of “Batman”. The last little mini series was Joker heavy and very interesting. “The Goon” is about to wrap up and, while it's been a great read, I'm so sad to see it go that I deliberately put off reading the issues for a while. The world is going to be a worse place without “The Goon”, but I'm sure Eric Powell will continue to pump out some good stuff that keeps us all entertained. He has been working on “Big Man Plans” which has been just as brutal as advertised. I bought the “Age of Ultron” trade and “Civil War” because of Avengers 2. Not much of a Marvel guy, but I'll try 'em out.

 

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And finally, I have been listening to “Endless Roads” by Miles Away pretty much constantly as of late. The whole album is great, but “Hearts and Minds” is exactly how bands should close albums. Listen to it front to back, but if you can't swing that, listen to “Rain Eyes” and “Hearts and Minds”, but seriously, just listen to the whole thing.