A Week of Trading Steam Games
In search of a bigger E-peen
by Nicholas Schlitt
A wild west of scammers, shysters, and profiteers is looming out there in cyber space. They make their marks in a world that runs on blind trust and the barter system between friendly strangers. Its a scary place for the uninitiated. But its also a great and interesting place that connects gamers globally in a weird special bond. A mere week ago I knew nothing about it besides it happened and existed. People traded games out there somewhere. But now I have emerged on the other side of my journey. I feel like a great explorer that found new lands I must tell you of... or at least explain how bad I am at trading games.
Part 1: Dumb Gambling.
My story begins on the 4th of December in the year 2015. It also begins with my first of many bad decisions. Humble Bundle is a great website that bundles together independent, small developer, PC games you wouldn't have necessarily heard of, into a “name your own price” tiered system that also benefits charities too. Or at least that's what it used to be. Now it's a beast. They have main bundles, weekly bundles, mobile game bundles, e-book bundles, e-comic bundles, e-learning bundles, music bundles, a storefront and more. And big developers sell and bundle their games there now, too. It's cool and lame all at once. I'm happy for them, but at the same time miss when it was just a niche. But back to my bad decision making; They have a new feature called a “Monthly Bundle”. You blindly pay $12 USD for a month and the first Friday of that next month you get a handful of games. Probably a genuinely dumb idea for someone with hundreds of games in their Steam Library already but eh, there's a slight understanding of the expected value of the games. And who doesn't like a little bit of a gamble? Or something... Either way, after skipping round one I dove in for round two. And so began my adventure.
Of the six games, one was straight up on my wishlist (score!), one was on my radar (score!), three went to my back burner to maybe be hidden gems one day (content!), but the showcase game was Rust (poop...). Now, I don't want to criticize anything I have never tried, but it falls into a genre I have no interest in; Early Access, multiplayer, survival. Emphasis on the multiplayer part. I love me some survival. As a game style like The Long Dark, or even just as a subject. I love me some survival. And Early Access doesn't scare me a bit. Though I'm not a massive fan of it, I do know I'm paying to play a beta and go through the growing pains as the game (hopefully) makes it to a full release. Its purely the multiplayer part that makes it not for me. H1Z1, DayZ, ARK: Survival Evolved, Hurtworld, Rust, etc., are all massively popular and I'm sure there is fun to be found in all of them, but it just isn't for me and I know it. I played online shooters as a teenager and in my early 20's, I had my time and had my fun. And I know this isn't the same thing. But I thoroughly vet and very deliberately pick any game I spend my time online with these days. I spend 99% of my time playing singleplayer aspects of games. When I game, I just wanna game. Not be queuing in servers, or waiting for people to join, or dealing with hackers, or lag, or server crashes, or blah blah blah. All I know is Rust has all of these things. Oh and randomly assigned digital penis size. Yup, really. So like I say, I don't want to critique something I haven't played and don't know much about, but I do know its very very likely not for me.
So there's my problem. What do I do with Rust? Do I activate the CDkey, just to add it to my Steam Library count (incidentally another digital penis equivalent for some) and let it rot? Maybe one day try it with my judging eyes judging it and confirm my suspicions about it? Or do I just give it to a friend? Well that was quick, nobody wants it (and I don't have a lot of friends). I really don't want to add it to the Library stack because it feels like a loss. I gambled. I lost. But wait, there is one more option. I can trade it! Humble Bundle has a built in gift link system that doesn't require me giving any info but a link for a person to click and claim the CDkey. I've used them before to giveaway duplicate CDkeys of low value games to friends and strangers. Lets do this! I'm going to trade this game I feel down about for something I will actually enjoy! Plus I got a handful of other duplicate smaller titles hanging around from past Humble Bundles. I got a list to work with! This is gonna rule!
Part 2: Getting My Toes Wet
Steam has a built in trading system with punishments and suspensions for abusers, mobile authentication, and three day holds (((http://www.pcgamer.com/valve-details-the-rationale-behind-steam-trade-holds/))). But that's strictly for gifts, trading cards, or ingame items bought via Steam's storefront... Not Humble gifts. So I gather my list of games, and I hit the streets. I do a little Googlin', I do a little Steam Group searchin'. There seems to be third party sites that hold gift links until both submit then sends them to each trade participant. A “safe” third party of sorts. User reputation/rating systems and everything. Then there's various sub-Reddit's on the subject but I don't play that game much. The forefront of the internet isn't my cup of tea. Plus my motivations are simple, trade Rust for something I would enjoy. My extra games are just for icing on the cake if needed for a MEGA DEAL (spoiler alert: no mega deals happen). So I want it clean, quick, and simple and there's a Steam Group for Humble gift trading. I thought there might be a drug dealer-esque quality to offering Humble gifts; “hey man I got what you neeeeed”. But if there's a built in understanding we're all dealing the same thing in this group, it should be good to go.
I join the group and post my list and don't list any specific wants besides “offers”. I quickly begin to get a streets-level crash course and learn a few things in my first hours;
-People will offer to trade cards, CS:GO items/keys, and TF2 items/keys if you don't specify you don't want them. I quickly edit my wants to “game offers” rather than “offers”.
-People really want Rust! But they will offer you games that have been given away free in the past. Or games with “Mixed” or “Mostly Negative” reviews (quite a feat on Steam).
-People will also beg. And try to kill you with the kindness of smilies and sadfaces. “Awww, you really won't do that trade? I want Rust badddd :/ :(“. Presumably young I try remain polite in turning them down but eventually realize I must just ignore them.
-People will be from the world over. Kinda a neat thing about the internet but lots is lost in translation as well. As will be the case later.
-People will generally be friendly and realize what they have versus what you have and thank you for listening to their offers. This makes me feel comfortable amid the early onslaught of offers and lurking snakes.
-There is an unofficial reputation or “+rep” system of people leaving profile comments after trades. I get no respect because I have none. On the other hand this can be easily faked and many don't trust it anyway. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. But still, I latch on it when inspecting potential traders.
Danger, intrigue, children... It's a mess out there. But, slowly, a few people take note of other games in my list after the allure of Rust and me being the new guy wears off and I am able to make my first trade! Nothing on my wishlist, Payday 2, but the games we exchange are of equal value and it looks like I could get some kicks from trading after all. Hey, a game I didn't have for a game I already had? Works for me!
With no “+rep” on my profile, I am obligated (and offer) to go first and send him the link. A brief moment of chills and fretting as I wait for him to activate it and respond with his end of the bargain. He promptly does. His CDkey for me is just that, a CDkey. But I assume its from HumbleBundle and feel safe and it works just fine. I've done it. I traded games in the wild west and survived to tell the tale. The day ends with me not having moved Rust, but I managed to learn my surroundings. Throw in a successful trade on top of that and I'm okay with the way things went. I'm probably valuing Rust too high but the demand clearly presented itself and the scammers let a false sense of hope sneak in with their “too good to be true” offers.
Day two is a lot of the same at first. My toes were plenty wet, time to jump in the deep end. I hardly gamed during my time I intended to spend gaming. I'm all business now. I join more Steam trading groups and make more postings. I start offering deals on others' postings. Nobody bites and nobody makes the “right” offer on Rust, but I start making more frequent trades. In my second trade I pick up a small little game called Breach and Clear, which I'd call my diamond in the rough of all my trades that I've been enjoying since (spoiler alert: downhill from here). I cave to a beggar who was after one of my really giveaway worthy games. I take a worthless game in return just to make him feel special. Then he of courses asks for more... I continue to make the world a worse place by rewarding him with a CDkey to a game that I got for free. Two shits for his one shit, plus teaching him begging gets you things. I will regret this until the day I die. By the time I am done for the day I know in my heart I actually hate trading and put day three as the end of the line; I've got to get the Rust trade done by tomorrow or just play it. The day ends with a dangling offer for a game I would like that was never to be followed up with. Another thing I would have to learn to live with in the world of Steam trading. The ones that get away.
Part 3: Familiar Faces Everywhere
I spend the next few days trying to convince myself that the next day or the next hour would be the new “for sure” end of the line. I had to stop eventually, whether or not I traded Rust, but I kept going. I simply don't like this activity of trading, but I kept going! At first the trades were at least trickling in, by now it is a chore. My fourth trade was with a guy from the Netherlands and I get to take his trade virginity so soon after losing mine. I walk him through it, and send him my side of the deal first (would've given him props if he was playing me up and he flat stole the game right there without sending me anything in return). He thanks me and I warn him of a few dangers out there. He'll always remember his first time. Me though? I begin realize how bad I am at trading. I talked him into a better deal for him... Beyond my first trade, my trades are very one sided. But number two was a hidden gem for me, and I felt good about number four at the time. And I was building absolutely fucking worthless “+rep”... So I had a false sense of feeling good about the trades still somehow. Love/hate.
Time flies. Beggar kid tries to add me again and gets ignored/blocked. Some guy tries to get me to join his Steam Group. Some kid wants me to go to his website. More “too good to be true” offers from total babes, brah. More bad offers for Rust. At this point I am still convinced the demand for this games exists! I will hold out for something great. Even though I haven't even received a so much as a good, or even okay, offer. Again, “one more day”. Its routine by now. The same faces from days past finally move past Rust and begin to make shitty trades with me for my other games. Another Perspective and Super Hexagon for Double Dragon Neon; Orcs Must Die! 2 for ENSLAVED: Odyssey to the West; and Super Cyborg, Cities in Motion 2 for Monstrum... Nothing of note, but more games I don't have... And probably won't ever play. Growin' that digital penis of a Steam Library into something to brag about I tell you what!
The trades come from all over, Mexico, Brazil, Colorado, Canada. But this teaches me another lesson; There are region locks on some game CDkeys. See, some countries have changing currency rates or much lower currency rates. So to prevent games from being bought cheap in one part of the world and being sold online to another for a profit they make game CDkeys have regional locks to them. As in they can only be activated and played from an IP address in the country they were purchased. This is a tactic the scammers like to use, trade you their regionally locked cheap CDkey for your worldwide CDkey and thus “profit”. My situation was a genuine mistake, but a game I received from a Brazilian wouldn't activate. It was in exchange for a game that came in a 4pk though, so I didn't mind losing out. Plus the game was actually gifted through Steam and didn't have the usual regional warnings, so it still might end up being a bug or something. I'm currently awaiting a reply from Steam Support (they are notoriously slow, like weeks until responses slow). But it was a cheap lesson to learn. And researching that subject I learned of some game selling websites that sell questionable keys in an EBay-like style. A scammers wet dream. So I clarified in all my postings I would only do HumbleBundle or similar site gift links or built in Steam gifts for trade. As these (usually) come with regional warnings and are from legitimate sources.
My lesson immediately comes in handy as a presumably perfectly nice guy and decent trader starts offering me the golden offers I've been telling myself would come. Alien: Isolation? Talos Principle? Sure, he could make those happen somehow for a game in Rust worth relatively half their value. So I ask his sources, and he says those type of sites I had just learned about. Now, good keys do come from there, and people swear by those type of sites but I put more stock in the stories about getting burned. I turn down the golden goose... He's stunned knowing he was offering the good stuff, but doesn't try to convince me. Another similar situation happens. Then a guy with refuses to go first in a trade. I don't blame him for not trusting me but I didn't trust him. At this point I had gone first on every trade I made, but I wanted someone to go first for Rust just out of principle.
Three bitter, empty days follow filled with repeat customers trying to come at Rust for a second or third try. Or repeat small traders wanting to make another. I slowly realize all five groups I have been frequenting consist of all the same active regulars. Rarely a listing from someone I haven't seen before in any of them. What have I done with my life? Why am I here? Rust was just one game in a six game bundle for twelve measly dollars. That's just a value of two whole dollars when you break it down that way. I need to get on with my life. There's got to be more out there than compulsively checking Steam like a teenager checking her cellphone for new messages. I exaggerate, but, it did feel like what time I was spending on the activity was quite wasteful despite the mild successes.
Part 4: Shaking Off the Rust
Days six and seven nothing happened beyond putting out and receiving feelers. Nothing ever was exchanged. The people that would, had already taken their run at Rust. I was down and out and coming to terms with playing Rust one day. My only other option would be to delve deeper into the trading world by joining more groups, or Reddit. This was the tipping point between actively becoming a “trader” or casually trying to get rid of Rust. I bought time by giving away some keys like GRID, Dustforce DX, and Worms games just to selfishly feel special and generous. But by the end of the week (my 1,532nd self imposed cut off time) I was done. I wouldn't rush to activate the CDkey but I was done trying to trade.
The next morning a couple notifications led me back into the snake pit. Some people had some paltry offers. I ended up giving away another game or two. The hooks were in though. One last round of posting purely that I had Rust on each group, no more listing my other games. “Here's Rust, come and get it”. I also went as far to go to the actual Rust Steam Discussion board and post there. The funk of the last couple days was going to come off. I felt confident I would get rid of Rust...
Or you know, more of the same and eventually the postings would get buried under new ones and I'd still have Rust. Either or.
The day went by with dead silence. No new notifications to check. My life began to return to normal. When I opened the Steam program I actually spent my hour or so playing actual games again rather than browsing trade-group postings. I was breaking free. I even began leaving groups and removing postings. It was over. But then that envelope turned green one more time indicating a new notification.
A kid from France wanted to offer me Space Engineers for Rust. Before responding I began my research. I had heard of Space Engineers but never looked into it. Another Early Access game (for years running). I wasn't too thrilled initially. It was also clearly being supported by an active mod community which is both a blessing and a curse in my opinion. Especially in Early Access. Also, the fun to be had appeared to be mostly within multiplayer. Always multiplayer... At the same time though, it spoke to me more than Rust ever had. By this point Rust was just a dead limb I had to cut. I figured I would add the Frenchman and begin a dialogue.
As we worked through our language barriers I took it upon myself to post on the Space Engineers' Steam Discussion Boards asking about the singleplayer aspects of the game. I got a mixed bag of responses of people who found it worthless to people who preferred it over multiplayer. The common thing about the responses was how quickly and politely people were willing to respond. A mature, polite, and kind community for a game is next to impossible to find these days. I took the chance to ask a range of followup questions that were all answered clearly with varying opinions. Nice people. It was pretty swell, if I do say so. It was enough for me to do it. Rust for Space Engineers. One Early Access mess for another. Broken English and a couple Google Translator uses later and the trade was done. And just to prove it was “right”, he happened to take it upon himself to send me his game first. I finally got to go second.
I managed to make a few more smaller trades since just from people finding my old postings. Nothing spectacular of course and some consisting of me just giving things away again. Looking back on my trades they were all fairly awful. Very few would garner more than a 6 out of 10 on some arbitrary scale. But they were done. I got my thrills. I got my hidden gem. I got new games I didn't own for duplicates of ones I did. I learned a lot and met people from the world over. And... I got rid of the Rust.
...But as I floated through the clunky tutorials of Space Engineers I couldn't help but wonder; What size could my Rust penis have been... ?
