[In the introduction for this site, I mentioned an interview I did with my grandfather when I was a young man. I wanted what follows to be the introduction to the site, originally, but I wanted to focus more on what WE were doing, not just ME, so it got scrapped. I've taken out the introduction parts and just posted the meat. My grandpa was an awesome dude that was trapped in a failing body. I miss him, but wouldn't have wished him more time on this earth on him even if it meant spending more time with him. And yes, I am fully aware how ridiculous I look in that picture.]
When I was 8 years old, I conducted my first interview. It was a school assignment and we had to interview a grandparent. I picked my grandfather Tom Leidy (my father's father). That seems very odd to me now, seeing as he was a man of such few words, but maybe there was a part of me that wanted to know more about him. We had a sheet of questions to ask and I must have just rattled right down the list because we didn't elaborate much on any question. Like I said, he was a man of few words and I was an 8 year old trying to write this all in cursive. We kept it simple, for both of our sake's.
Grandpa Tom was a grumpy old dude, but he usually had time for me. He didn't take too kindly to tomfoolery though and I was full of it back then. I'll never forget one time, I must have been around 7 or 8 and we had just gotten a computer in our classroom. I'm not sure if it's true or not, but I've heard several times that Tom Leidy was the first man with a computer in Wilton, ND. Dude loved technology. So me, being a young man who finally got to mess around on a computer, I learned how to change screen savers. So what did I do? I changed Grandpa Tom's screen saver to say “Hi Grandpa Tom!” and anxiously awaited his return to his room. But ol' Tom didn't take kindly to tomfoolery. He had Grandma Kay tell me I shouldn't be messing around on his computer and that was the last time I did.
For as long as I can remember him, Grandpa Tom had Multiple Sclerosis. I hope you don't know anyone who had M.S. like Tom had M.S. The shit that disease does to a strong man is hard to watch. He tried several different copping techniques, one of which was bee stings. He had someone come in and sting him with bees. On purpose. I hope I never have something that sucks so bad that bee stings are seen as a positive. I didn't really understand how much it was affecting him, or maybe I was just in denial, until he lost the ability to speak. He always had a hard time moving, but now he was even losing the ability to greet me when I walked in. Towards the end, he couldn't do anything. My grandmother did everything for him and took care of him for years and years before that, but now she was doing everything for him.
As an aside, most people would crumble under that weight, but she is one of the best, most caring people in existence. I wouldn't wish being an adult caregiver on anyone, but if there is anyone else in this world equipped to handle it like she was, I hope they're around to take care of me, should I need it. She's a bad ass and one of the nicest women on this planet.
I was back in Bismarck for some reason in 2009. I was called to my grandparents' house in Wilton for the inevitable and I made the trip alone. My father and I stood by my grandpa and just talked to him. Really, we just kind of talked to each other. The kind of talk we never really had. He couldn't say anything back, but we were there for him. Everyone was. My grandpa Tom passed away, surrounded by his family like a man should be, after a lengthy battle with Multiple Sclerosis. I originally had “unfortunately” starting that sentence, but I'm not sure I can say that in good conscience. He was a wonderful man who was trapped in his failed body. Couldn't talk, couldn't move, couldn't play with his computer. He deserved much better than he got, that's what's really unfortunate here.
So here's my talk with my grandfather back in '95. It's not overly informative, but having it now is like having a chunk of that dude here with me and that's enough for me. I hope you enjoy it. My modern day notes are in brackets. I was about as good of a writer in '95 as I am now, so bear with me.
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My grandpa's name is Thomas Alfred Leidy. He was born on July 31, 1941 [I was born July 29th, 1987] in Sharon, Pennsylvania. He was born in a hospital. He was 7 lbs., 5 oz. and 21 inches long. Brown hair, blue eyes. His dad's name was Ivan Leidy and his mom's name is Margaret Bailey Leidy. He was named after his grandpa on his mom's side, Thomas Alfred Bailey. For a special thing he did on his birthday, nothing comes to mind.
He has 3 sisters; Bonnie (1942), Carol (1944) and Noreen (1949). Yes, he did fight with his sisters. He never had to share rooms or anything else. He did get spanked a couple times and his dad was more strict. He had a model train set and a space center play set. He played hide & seek, bad mitten [badminton, naturally], canasta and [for] toys he had a fishing pole. He remembers his 18th birthday because he was in the Air Force. His favorite birthday present was a 22 rifle. The tooth fairy didn't leave him any money at all. He never got an allowance. He liked football. No, because he would get in trouble [It seems I did not write down the question for this one]. He's been in the hospital many times, never broke a bone, but has had stitches. He had a car and has ridden in all of them. His favorite place to go was the woods. His chores were to do the dishes, mow the lawn, cut firewood and level dirt. He would buy candy. He had a dog named Rex and he was special to my grandpa. What he liked best about his friends was he could run around with [hmmmm... ].
His house was just a plain house. He had 8 rooms in the main floor and 2 upstairs and no it didn't have any other rooms. [He had] electricity, a stove, a fridge and a washer and dryer. He had a furnace for the winter and he opened the windows. His room was “attiquite” [adequate]. [He had] a TV, no he doesn't have the TV anymore. 7 people lived in the house and his yard was small.
On Thanksgiving, they had turkey dinner. His mom was an excellent cook to my grandpa. She made awesome pie. They did live where there was snow and yes, he did make snowmen. He didn't help his [mom] bake anything and his favorites were fudge and turtles. He remembers making a sign for [their] cabin. Yes, Santa came to his house. Yes, he got candy canes. Yes, he had a tree and yes they decorated it. On Christmas they got [their] presents. No, he never made a Valentine for anyone [this is not a shock]. No, he never got that stuff as a kid [I have no idea what 'that stuff' is in reference to]. Yes, the easter bunny left him a basket. No, they never had an easter egg hunt. They had a picnic every year. Yes, they did have fireworks. Yes, they did dress up. No, he never made his own costume. No he never had parties or played tricks on anyone. No, he wasn't scared of any of that stuff [also, totally like my grandpa, but again, no idea what he wasn't afraid of]. The only tradition they had was a big family reunion.
He attended grade school, junior high and high school. He got good grades. He liked shop, geometry, and drafting. He didn't like algebra or english. He walked to school everyday. He never participated in any school teams. He watched football. If the homework wasn't done, you'd fail the subject. Only one time comes to mind that his teacher did special for him [uh huh]. He didn't have a favorite teacher.
Yes he has rode in all of the three [modes of transport? Plane, car and boat?]. To Washington D.C. was his favorite trip. He's been there twice. Yes his family went on vacations. Yes he's done both fishing and swimming. His longest trip was from Pennsylvania to Seattle. Yes he has taken a trip by himself. Yes he has gone to amusement parks and state fairs many times.
He was 15 year old he earned to drive a car. No, he never owned his own car. Yes, he had a job after school. They went hunting and fishing. He had to be home by midnight. He was 16 when he started dating. Yes he does remember his first date. He first met [my] grandma in Minot. His wedding was normal and it was on July 14, 1963 in Columbus, ND. Yes, he did have a honeymoon in Black Hills, SD. They lived in Minot. [Their] house was an upstairs apartment. Nothing comes to mind about the funniest part of the 1st year of marriage. In Rugby, September 18, 1966 and September 11, 1976 [I have no idea what this is in reference to].
My dad was a very good baby. Yes, he had to shovel snow, mow lawn and dry dishes. Yes, he behaved in school and got good grades. My dad liked to hunt, fish and play sports. The thing my dad did to surprise my grandpa was to get so tall and he won a local Punt, Pass and Kick contest. How he got so tall [I think we covered that, 8 year old Taylor].
He remembers how flat top haircuts were “in style”. He was a jet engine mechanic. Go to Alaska and Hawaii [places he went? places I should go?]. His dad influenced him the most because he taught him how to work. He was around to be a grandpa. He says, “get lots of good pictures” and “work hard at whatever you do and ask questions”.
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Hopefully, if I ever get around to interviewing anyone for this site, I can at least remember the questions. And hopefully someone hits me with a quote as good as “work hard at whatever you do and ask questions”. That sums up my grandfather very well.
